The Groom

A few weeks ago, my teammate and I were invited to the wedding of a friend's cousin in her family's village. It was my first trip outside the city and my first wedding in this country.... so there were quite a few new experiences. A few of the highlights were helping to cook 20 kilos of biriyani, riding in a loory, drinking water from a coconut right off the tree, and sliding down the side of a mountain on purpose.

As fun as these experiences were, the wedding itself was a difficult event to attend, and would be even tougher to try to describe.

I was recently asked to share some of the things I'm learning on another blog, and this is my feeble attempt sum up the emotions and thoughts of that day....

Like most girls, I have spent countless hours dreaming about every little detail of my fairytale wedding. In all of my dreams and visions about this day, the only emotions I have felt are hopeful anticipation and blissful joy.
Despite my optimistic expectations, my perceptions of marriage were recently challenged. For the past four months, I have been serving in South Asia, and my ideas about love and marriage stand in direct opposition to many of my new friends’ mindsets. Many people here are in or awaiting arranged marriages. Most are lucky to spend any time with their spouse before the wedding day.

I attended my first wedding ceremony a few weeks ago (photo on right). My heart broke as I watched the sixteen-year old bride cry through each of the pre-wedding rituals. Her fear and stress were so tangible. She even vomited during the wedding ceremony. I found myself wishing she didn’t have to be getting married, but her duty to her family overshadowed any fear.

Instead of this fear and sense of responsibility, I wanted her to experience the joy and excitement I’ve seen on the faces of brides back at home. To know her husband’s heart intimately and look forward to serving the Lord together. To be thanking God for his providence in bringing the two of them together. To be looking at His incredible example for how to love selflessly. But she doesn’t know those thoughts and feelings.

As I shared this experience, a friend asked, “What do you think comes to mind when she hears ‘the bride of Christ’?” I was so struck by this thought and it continues to challenge me.

For the church, thinking about meeting our groom, Jesus Christ, leads to feelings of excitement and hope. He loves us more than we can comprehend, and we get to spend eternity praising Him in the place He has prepared for us. We will finally get to experience His glory and express our love for Him completely. As Revelation 19:7 says, “Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.”

But not everyone rejoices when they think about the end of their life. Instead, there is fear and dread. They do not know Him or what to expect. They question His goodness and wisdom. Their thoughts of Him are associated with duty and rules, not love and freedom.

Our sisters are familiar with the parable in Matthew 25, but it has taken on new meaning for me in the past few months. So many of my friends and neighbors are not ready to meet their groom. They feel just like the young girl who went before her new husband in such fear. Like the bridesmaids in the passage, those that aren’t ready are shut out entirely.

I felt so hopeless as I sat through that wedding ceremony. There was nothing I could do to make her feel better or take away her fear. But there is something we can do for those who aren’t ready to come face-to-face with Jesus. We can introduce them. Tell them what we know of Him and about our experiences with Him. Share about His love. His kindness. His goodness. His grace. And how to know His heart intimately.