Out of the Ashes

I need to process. To make sense of it all. To let what I have seen sink in. To evaluate what is going on, and let God show me my place in it. That is where I am after my trip to Haiti.

I thought I was prepared. I read statistics and hear stories everyday. Haiti is my job, but it hasn't been my heart. That is beginning to change.

I have been to third world countries. I even lived in one. But I wasn't at all prepared for this. Haiti is often considered a fifth world country. Try to wrap your mind around that.

I knew there would be poverty. Destruction. Hopelessness. But I didn't expect to see such beauty. Smiles. Hope. Strength. God's sovereignty over all of it. The juxtaposition of all of these things blew me away.

My words will never be adequate. My feeble photography attempts aren't either, but it's a step closer.

It's Happening!

Off to Haiti early in the morning! Please be praying for opportunities to share and express the love of Christ. Pray we make it back without any diseases too :) I can't wait to tell you all about it...

Love In the Time of Cholera

Not gonna lie... I haven't read this book. But the title took on new meaning for me yesterday.

I am supposed to board a plane at 7:20am on Monday to head to Haiti. I can't even begin to tell you how much I have been looking forward to seeing the ministry of New Missions up close. I'm even more excited to be meeting my sponsored child. We have built a relationship through letters over the past year and a half, but I can't wait to see her. To hug her. To laugh with her.

It's been less than a year since the earthquake, and only 2% of the rubble has been cleared. To put it bluntly, Haiti is still a mess. It's considered a fifth world country, which I honestly can't wrap my mind around. Part of me feels like my time in South Asia will help me, but I'm afraid it's on a whole different scale.

If you have been watching the news the last couple of days, you have probably heard about a new problem. There has been an outbreak of cholera in Haiti. When I heard this, I had no clue what that even meant, but it sounded terrifying. Then I was asked to do some research on the disease.

I'm no longer terrified, but I'm still asking for prayer. Right now, the trip is up in the air. A decision should be made today on whether our group will head out on Monday as planned. I am longing to get there and minister in another time of great need for these people... to love in the time of cholera.

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." -Proverbs 31:8-9

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." -Micah 6:8

Lindsey

...has a blog. You should follow her. www.writingeverafter.blogspot.com

And this one will be the proud recipient of a real post soon. Promise. The past few months have been full of lessons that need to be shared. Get excited.

Updates

Life has been busy the past month.

I spent several weeks catching up with old friends and visiting family, making new ones (shoutout to Emily), and trying to get settled back into a routine in America. One highlight was getting to worship here with my brothers and sisters in person, instead of online. This place definitely feels more like home than anywhere else in Orlando. I'll admit it's a little different from church in South Asia, but still a huge blessing.

Then, my sister got engaged! There are so many words I could use to describe this event. Crazy, exciting, and incredible are the first ones that come to mind. Life has gotten even crazier since that day, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm so thankful to get to be around for this season and laugh and cry and celebrate with my best friend and her future husband.

A few days later, I started working here. Not gonna lie... going from teaching and sharing on the other side of the world to sitting at a desk for long periods of time was a little scary. I get bored pretty quickly too. But it's been amazing! I love that the organization God led me to has such a huge impact on the Kingdom! The faces of the kids and family being blessed in Haiti and the Dominican Republic keep me going.

Those are the big things. I'm adjusting and super glad that wedding blogs, magazines, a desk job, and sweet time with family keep my mind occupied the majority of the time. When it does wander, I realize how much I miss South Asia and the people there. But my Savior has reminded me over and over this week that for those who love Him, the best is ahead. And I'm getting more and more sure that He'll lead me back...

Home

Shocker. I can't sleep.

It's 5 am America right now. It's 2:30 Sunday afternoon in South Asia. My body feels like it's somewhere in the middle.

And my heart...

So many emotions are filling my mind and heart right now. I feel joy and love and gratitude for amazing family and friends who welcomed me home with open arms, ready to hear what I have learned and experienced over the past six months.





There is excitement about what the Lord has in store for this time at home. I know that He has me in Orlando for a purpose that I may not be able to see at this point. With all of my heart, I'm going to strive to live out Jim Eliot's words... "Wherever you are, be all there." I haven't forgotten that people are lost and hurting on this side of the world. I know there are things that need to be learned and shared here.

But right now I am grieving and processing the season that just ended. Missing the friends that have become like family. The faces of those that God is calling to Himself. The hearts of kids so thankful to be loved. The sounds that sung me to sleep each night and woke me up every morning. The glimpses of light and beauty in a dark place.



My heart now has two homes and is overflowing with thankfulness to a Father who is at work in both places.

Sharing Thoughts

Part of me is terrified to return to the States. I know the Lord has changed my heart in ways I will never be able to express. But I have no idea how these changes will translate into life at home. How others will respond to the ways I am different. How I will be able to sum up six months in a matter of minutes. How Dad will continue the good work He has started.

I also know that He has called me back for this season. And His faithfulness will continue.

Those of you that know me know my heart for orphans and adoption. It shouldn't surprise you that I read the blogs of adoptive families often and rejoice with them in the Father's redemption of these sweet children. I was surprised, however, that one of these moms so perfectly captured some of my emotions during her time in Ethiopia. Her thoughts and prayers so much remind me of my own. So I wanted to share them with you.

Maybe this will help you understand why I can't return to life as it has been. Why this place will always be a part of me. Why I have fallen so much in love with these people.

Reminders

I may end up blogging more in the next couple weeks than I have in the last six months. To those that follow, I'm sorry. My blog will stop showing up in your readers very soon. But the Lord is teaching me so much and my heart is overflowing, so bear with me.

There are so many things I love about this culture. The colors and sounds make me smile everyday. A ten minute walk usually takes me at least twenty because there are so many neighbors to stop and chat with. Then there's the food. I don't even need to say anything about else about that.

But there are also many things that constantly remind me that over a billion people in this country alone are in need of the Savior.

For me, the hardest of these to encounter has been the neglect of little girls in extremely poor families. There is a slum two blocks from my apartment. In this slum, one lady makes her living by "getting rid of" unwanted baby girls. Other mothers are willing to kill their children on their own. Girls are looked down upon because they are a burden. Wedding require huge dowries, and many families can't afford the expense. Despite the circumstances, I get sick even thinking about how a woman could do this. And it's become so personal.





These sisters are named Shelly and Allison. Their mother has had a total of six daughters. Two of this woman’s children reside with her in the slum, two were murdered by their mother, and the other two, Shelly and Allison, struggled to survive. Shelly was born a little over a year after her sister Allison. When she was a baby, her mother would not feed her. My friends, Suresh and Latha, were able to provide formula for Shelly to eat so she would not starve to death. As time passed, Shelly’s life resembled that of a stray dog, she ate out of the trash, and she was beaten and mistreated. She was longing for a family, for love, and for hope. And the Lord provided that through Karunya Ministries. Praise God!



Today I spent the afternoon with these beautiful kids.



After singing and Bible study, they began to share prayer needs. They shared about a young girl they know who had been brought to their school by police after her mother decided she no longer wanted her. Her mother's attempts to end her life- poison and burning- both failed. The headmaster of the school is now trying to figure out how to handle the situation.

As I listened to them talk, all of the anger, disbelief, horror, sadness, and pain came rushing back. But mostly anger. I'm not a mother, but I couldn't begin to imagine how any woman, regardless of their poverty and circumstances, could make that decision and carry out the actions.

Then I met with a group of believers in my city, and we spent time in the last verses of Luke 7. Wow. I am so much like Simon. Condemning others when I am in need of grace as much as they are. Still acting as though God rates the severity of our sin. Expecting unbelievers to live Godly lives. Responding with anger when they do not. Instead of loving these women as they are and sharing the love of Christ with them, I judged. Though I got so upset over their disobedience, I realized how rarely my own sin truly breaks my heart. Because my sin is "little", I have loved little (Luke 7:47).

Forgive me, Father. Thank you for the cross. Thank you for such grace. Thank you for reminders of your love. Teach me to love like You. Help me to understand the gravity of my sin and the enormity of your sacrifice. Allow me to share those truths with those around me.